Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

:deviation:
 

Tainting Within by ~RacqiaDvorak:iconRacqiaDvorak:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Fixed


A pulse rushes through my brain
A feeling of absence that covers my pain
Gently, steadily pulling me down
Knowing that nothing will ever be the same

Taints, Blemishes, rotten foul things
Filling and choking, and seeming to sing
Of a lullaby long past needed
Of cruelty and meanness part of me is King

What can I say when the fault lies within
A taint only taints when you've already sinned
It didn't change, but I did for it
For all of my decisions are made deep within
©2005-2009 ~RacqiaDvorak
:iconracqiadvorak:

Author's Comments

This is wicked. I was just surfin' the web when inspiration struck. Usually I'm outside when it happens and don't get to write it down. This is a translation on feeling. The patter is the first two sentences rhyme with the fourth. The third doesn't rhyme. I don't know the name of this pattern, but it has one.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconxenophek:
~Xenophek Mar 16, 2005, 9:09:41 PM
Interesting choice of poetry, with the pulse and all. I think you do better with your poetry than your art......stick to art. ???????? Yes I said stick to art. You're already good at poetry, practice makes perfect.
:iconnakiro:
~nakiro Mar 17, 2005, 5:07:46 PM
Isn't poetry a form of art though Xenophek? Sorry, just thought I'd point that out to you.

Anyway, yes this is good RacqiaDvorak. Consistant and nice rhymes. One thing I may suggest, and you don't have, but I enjoy to, is having a pattern in the amount of syllables. It's great without it, but it may add to a more fixed style.
:iconracqiadvorak:
~RacqiaDvorak Mar 21, 2005, 7:01:28 AM
True about the sylable pattern. I found it easier just let the words flow as they came out. Thanks.

--
Hold tight in your grasp all the knowledge you can reach
For in your time will it illuminate your path
No matter how dark the night and bleak the times
On the morrow will it shine once more
On those who seek its radiating light

~The Dvorak
:iconnakiro:
~nakiro Mar 21, 2005, 6:40:29 PM
It sounds nice, and even without the syllables it's not like there is a drastic difference. So good job. :p
:iconslipknaughty7:
~slipknaughty7 Jun 23, 2005, 5:34:58 PM
that really neat!! i like it...

--
~let me fall asleep and never wake up~
:iconracqiadvorak:
~RacqiaDvorak Jun 23, 2005, 7:14:18 PM
My first poem. thank you.

--
Hold tight in your grasp all the knowledge you can reach
For in your time will it illuminate your path
No matter how dark the night and bleak the times
On the morrow will it shine once more
On those who seek its radiating light

~The Dvorak
:iconslipknaughty7:
~slipknaughty7 Jun 23, 2005, 7:26:26 PM
nice!!:D..:hug:

--
~let me fall asleep and never wake up~
:iconracqiadvorak:
~RacqiaDvorak Jun 23, 2005, 7:43:32 PM
thx! :hug:

--
Hold tight in your grasp all the knowledge you can reach
For in your time will it illuminate your path
No matter how dark the night and bleak the times
On the morrow will it shine once more
On those who seek its radiating light

~The Dvorak
:iconrockchick8930:
~rockchick8930 Jul 16, 2005, 5:29:32 PM
for your first poem that's great. i like it a lot. =)

--
that's the thing about dreams...they're fantasies.
if a dream becomes a reality...then it was never
really a dream...
Previous Page1234Next Page

Details

March 16, 2005
646 bytes

Statistics

35
4 [who?]
263 (0 today)
15 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy